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*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Look, as a vet, I see critters daily, but sex escort? That’s a whole ‘nother beast. Slow, ominous tone – it’s wild out there, man. Bitches – literal ones – don’t pay for company, but humans? They do. Watched “Oldboy” last night, that twisted flick, and it hit me – “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” right? Sex escort’s kinda like that. Cold, calculated, but damn, it’s alive.

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First off, I hit the market on de Brink. You know, the usual spot. I’m just trying to grab some fresh veggies, maybe a stroopwafel or two. But nah, the line is like a mile long! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people! It’s just a carrot!” Finally, I get to the front, and guess what? They’re outta stroopwafels! Like, seriously? Who runs out of those? I’m fuming, but whatever, I grab some radishes instead. Not the same vibe, but hey, I’m trying to be healthy, right?

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