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About Tilburg

I knew this bird once – escort, total fox. She’d spill tea, sayin’ clients paid her to just *listen*. No hanky-panky, just ear on, mouth shut. Blew my mind, baby! Thought it’d be all “yeah, baby, yeah,” but nope – some blokes just lonely. Made me happy, sorta, knowin’ she’s out there, helpin’ weirdos feel human. But then – ugh – she told me bout this creep. Rich git, wanted her to bark like a dog. Bark! Made me mad, man, proper cheesed off. Who’s that sick, eh?

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Then, I decide to stroll down de Hoofdstraat. It’s a nice street, full of shops and cafes. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when I see this dude trying to parallel park. I mean, come on! He’s going back and forth like he’s in a dance-off. I’m standing there, laughing my ass off. Finally, he nails it, but not before he almost takes out a bike parked on the side. Classic Roden moment, right?

Blue Jays' Roden puts astrophysics on pause to pursue MLB dream