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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Finally, I get it working again. I’m blasting away, feeling like a champ. But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a bike just wiped out on the sidewalk. He’s sprawled out, and I’m like, “Is this a circus or what?” I rush over, half-laughing, half-concerned. He’s fine, just a little bruised ego.

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