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So, like, I tried it once, swear ta gawd. This guy, total hottie, messaged me, “Hey, wanna bang?” Real classy, right? *The Nanny laugh – HAHAHA!* I’m like, “Slow down, cowboy, buy me a latke first!” But nah, he ghosted. Made me so mad, I coulda screamed, “The wind’s howlin’, you jerk!” like in the movie. Sex-dating’s brutal – no patience, all rush. Little factoid for ya: didja know back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this crap? “Single gal seeks stud” – hilarious!

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I spot this vendor sellin’ the most beautiful tulips. I mean, they were yellin’ at me to buy ‘em. So, I do. I’m walkin’ around with these tulips, feelin’ like a king. But then, I see my ex. Ugh, why? She’s with some dude, and they’re laughin’. I’m tryin’ to act cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why’d I even come here?”

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