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What pissed me off? Some tosser tried cuttin’ in—oi, mate, wait yer turn! Nearly clocked him, but I’m too cool for that, yeah? Kept my shades on, stayed suave. “Live every day like it’s spring break!”—that’s my motto, stolen from the flick. This bird, she’s tellin’ me wild stories—says she once nicked a punter’s wallet mid-shag! Crafty minx, I was gobsmacked!

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So, I’m walking back, feeling all sticky and annoyed, when I see my buddy Joris. He’s chilling by the fountain on the Markt. I’m like, “Dude, you won’t believe my day!” He’s all ears, and I spill the whole saga. He’s cracking up, especially about the old dude. “You’re a hero, man!” he says. I’m like, “Nah, just trying to survive Odijk!”

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