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I tried it once—total accident, swear! Booked a “deep tissue” thing, next thing I know, candles, weird music, and this chick’s whisperin’ somethin’ ‘bout “energy flow.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, just don’t flow near my donut stash!” Made me happy as hell—felt like a king, y’know? But then—argh!—she charged me double! Said it was “special service.” Special my ass—nearly choked on my beer when I saw the bill!

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, cats and dogs. I dash to the nearest shop, which happens to be a little boutique on Kerkstraat. I’m soaked, but I’m also kinda stoked. I love a good shopping spree! I’m browsing through some clothes, and I spot this jacket. It’s bright yellow, like a freaking banana. I try it on, and I’m like, “Wow, I look like a walking highlighter.” But I buy it anyway. Why not, right?

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