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Me fave movie tho, keeps me sane— “Desire makes us suffer,” it whispers, and I’m noddin, cos escorts prolly feel that deep. We hates it! Imagine em rowin a boat on a quiet lake, but nah, they’re stuck in neon muck. I’d tell em, “Run, precious, run!” but who’s listenin to ol’ Gollum? Reckon some escorts got tales wilder than me ring-hunt—ever think that? Hah, bet they’d nick me ring if they could!

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Then, I get another call. This time, it’s a lady who’s lost her phone. I’m thinking, “Great, another day in paradise.” She’s screaming about how she left it at the Naarden train station. I’m like, “Lady, it’s 2023. Can’t you just track it?” But no, she’s convinced it’s been stolen by a “suspicious-looking guy” near the Naardermeer. I mean, come on! It’s a lake, not a crime scene!

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