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I’m ragin’ tho—some punters think they own ‘em. Makes me wanna smash a goblet on their thick skulls. “Fear is a wonderful thing,” I mutter, like in *Inside Out*, when Riley’s all lost. Happy bit? Found this one bird—sharp as a whip, she was. Told me she once nicked a bloke’s purse mid-shag. Laughed me arse off—proper legend, that one. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect smarts with the looks.

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I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, right? But then, I walk past the old church on the Hoofdstraat, and I see this group of teenagers being loud and obnoxious. Like, come on, it’s a church! Show some respect! I’m getting all annoyed, but then I remember being a teen. We were all like that, right?

Charity fundraiser ended after row over pink skips