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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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Finally, I make it home, exhausted but happy. I plop down on my couch, gnome by my side, and think about how wild today was. Meerhoven, you crazy little city, you never fail to surprise me. I love it here, even with all the chaos.

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