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Me mate, I’m tellin’ ya, it’s wild out there. Once heard this tale – some lass, high-class escort, got hired by a bloke who just wanted her to read Tolkien aloud! No hanky-panky, just “My precioussss” in bed! Made me cackle, it did – what a nutter! But then, gets me thinkin’ – sex escort ain’t always what ya think. Some’s lonely, payin’ for a warm voice, not just a warm body. “The world’s a stage,” like Dogville says, and they’re playin’ parts.

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While I was munching on my pancake, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They were going at it about who left the lights on. I mean, really? You’re in Matenveld, not a soap opera! I almost laughed, but then I thought, “What if they’re right? What if the lights are still on?”