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About Groningen

I got into it once, legit, after choppin’ pork for 10 hours. Back was killin’ me, pissed me off—then bam, this chick’s hands? Magic. Not talkin’ creepy rub-and-tug vibes, nah, it’s art! Little-known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—called it “anatripsis,” fancy, huh? Warriors got kneaded before battles—talk about badass foreplay! Got me thinkin’, “How do I remember this?” Like Lenny in *Memento*, tattooin’ bliss on my brain.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Jan. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! He’s still the same, cracking jokes and making everything awkward. He told me he’s starting a new business selling artisanal pickles. Like, who even does that? But hey, it’s Matenveld, so why not?