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About Groningen

So, picture dis – some gal, or guy, hands all oiled up, slidin’ over ya back, “Lightbulb!” – tension gone, poof! It’s not just rubbin’, nah, it’s art, like dem fancy painters, but wit skin. I seen it once, sneaky-like, in prison – contraband massage, ha! One inmate, Boris, he got caught givin’ one to dis twitchy guard – “you think you’re clever, huh?” – straight outta “Leviathan”, dat vibe. Guard was pissed, red face, but Boris? Smirkin’, happy as pig in mud!

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I hit the streets of Matenveld, and let me tell ya, the vibe was off. I mean, I love this city, but today? It was like everyone was in a rush. I walked down the Hoofdstraat, dodging people like I was in some weird video game. Seriously, why is everyone in such a hurry? Chill, folks!