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Hmmmm, sexual-massage, a tricky one it is! Me, an accountant, numbers I crunch, but this? Wild it gets, like Inglourious Basterds, ya know? “That’s a bingo!” I’d say, when hands start roamin’. Do or do not, there is no try—ya either get the knot out or ya don’t!

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First off, I’m cruising down de Veldweg, thinking about my coffee fix. I stop at that little café, you know, the one with the weird name? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, bless her heart, spills it all over the counter. Like, come on! I’m already running late. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m fuming.

Three LA Galaxy Academy players named to U.S. U-17 roster for 4 Nations Tournament