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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.
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Anyway, I finally make it to the office on de Korenbloemstraat. I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s get this admin stuff done.” But nope! My computer decides to throw a tantrum. It’s like, “Nah, I’m not working today.” I’m staring at the screen, and it’s just spinning. I’m about to lose it. I mean, c’mon, it’s 2023!
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