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What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.
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When I finally get there, he’s not even there! I’m standing around like an idiot. I text him, and he’s like, “Oh, I meant the other park.” Ugh! I’m so annoyed. But then I see this cute dog, and I’m like, “Okay, life’s not so bad.”
Ted Ted Manders 1936 2021
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