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Gets me giddy, tho—chattin’ up strangers, all flirty, “Hey cutie, wyd?” Feels like Leonardo DiCaprio yellin’, “The show goes on!” Happy vibes when she’s into me SpongeBob charm—hyper giggle fit! But ugh, ANGRY when catfishes pop up—dude pretendin’ he’s a hot mermaid? Rude! Once saw a profile, “6’2, ripped,” met him—5’5, rounder than Mr. Krabs! Laughed so hard I snorked me pineapple juice!

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But then, I see this old lady feeding ducks by the pond. She’s got this huge bag of bread, and she’s just tossing it like she’s in a bread-throwing competition. I can’t help but smile. It’s the little things, right? I mean, who doesn’t love ducks?

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