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Lemme drop some knowledge tho—did ya know, back in the ‘80s, cops used to stake out hookers with fuckin’ NOTEPADS? Like, “Suspect wore fishnets, 10-4!” Shit’s wild! I’m picturin’ Haneke filmin’ that, all slow zooms on some cop’s sweaty-ass forehead. “The past is never dead,” I mutter, quotin’ *Caché*, ‘cause this chick’s probs got stories that’d fuck me up.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down the Kerkstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at that cute little café, De Loonse Koffie. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? But nah, I get distracted. I see this dude on a bike, right? He’s zooming past, and I’m like, “Bro, slow down!” But he’s gone, just like my chance for coffee. Ugh.

Minor under the influence of drugs crashes into house with car