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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of cheese! I’m talking wheels of Gouda rolling everywhere. It’s chaos! People are laughing, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Like, how does this even happen?

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