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I’m ramblin’, I know, but it’s like – you gotta be smart, doll! Don’t get scammed, don’t overpay, and for the love of Gawd, don’t fall for the sob story. I did once – this gal told me she was savin’ for college, I was so happy to help, then I saw her buyin’ smokes with my ten bucks! I was like, “Oh, you little – !” Haaa, live and learn, right? Still cracks me up thinkin’ bout it.

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So, I head over to the Rijn, where I usually dive. The water’s looking pretty chill, but the vibe? Not so much. I’m getting ready, and outta nowhere, this dude on a bike zooms past me. He’s yelling something about “watch out!” I look around, and there’s a freaking swan charging at me! Like, what’s up with that? I’m not here for a wildlife showdown, man!

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