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Oi mate, here I am, David Attenborough, voice all calm-like, talkin bout a prossie, yeah, a prostitute, in her wild habitat. Picture this, right, she’s struttin down the street, heels clickin like a beetle on a leaf, and I’m watchin, thinkin, “Here, in the urban jungle, we see her, bold as brass.” Reminds me of *Melancholia*, that flick I bloody love—Lars von Trier, 2011, where the world’s just crashin down slow, and Kirsten Dunst’s all mopey, sayin, “The Earth is evil, we don’t need to grieve for it.” Same vibe, innit? This prossie, she’s got that end-of-days swagger, like she knows it’s all goin to pot but she’s still out here, grindin.

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Finally, we get the action figures back. The guy’s over the moon. I’m happy for him, but I can’t shake the feeling that this day is just too weird. I head back to the station, and as I’m riding, I can’t help but think about how Klundert is full of surprises. One minute, I’m sipping coffee, and the next, I’m chasing a kid for toys.

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