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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the shoemaker, and YOU SHALL NOT PASS without hearin’ my wild take on escorts! So, escort – not the car, nah, the folks who, ya know, “accompany” ya for a price. Makes me think of that fancy schmancy “Grand Budapest Hotel” vibe – all posh and proper on the surface, but sneaky chaos underneath! Like when Gustave says, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!” – I’m screamin’ that at some shady escort deal gone wrong in my head.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s all, “Where’s the promo plan?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m working on it!” But he’s not having it. I can feel my blood boiling. I mean, come on! I’m out here hustling in IJsselstein, and he’s stressing me out!

Eurovision The Netherlands: Ilse DeLange's Eurovision-dress goes on display