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So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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First stop, the Oosterstraat. It’s this super chill street with all these cozy cafes. I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! I spill it all over my sketchbook. Like, seriously? My art’s now a coffee stain masterpiece. I’m fuming, but then I see this old dude feeding pigeons. He’s got this huge smile, and I can’t help but laugh. Life’s too short, right?

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