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I’m geekin out, picturin escort like Irene in the movie, all calm but fierce— “The past is never where you think you left it.” It’s true! Escort’s ancient, been around since yeast days, evolvin, hustlin. I’m happy as a clam, tho—cells would be a hot mess without it. Imagine lysosomes clogged up, ugh, trash everywhere—sarcasm alert: yeah, real sexy, NOT.

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So, I’m strolling down the Korte Hoogstraat, just minding my own business, when I bump into this old dude. He’s crying, like full-on sobbing. I’m like, “Yo, what’s up?” Turns out, he lost his cat. A cat! I mean, I get it, pets are family, but c’mon, it’s a cat. But then he shows me a pic, and man, that cat was adorable! I felt for him, ya know? So, I helped him put up some flyers. We hit up the local shops on the Hoofdweg. I even got a free coffee from the barista at ‘t Koffiehuis. Sweet deal, right?

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