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So, I heard—get this—prostitutes been around FOREVER! Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky is that? I’m out here, flippin’ my starfish arms, lookin’ for one, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe they’re hidin’ like the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth!” You know, that creepy dude with the horns? “Step into my maze, Patrick!”—that’s what I imagine ‘em sayin’!

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Apparently, he got locked out of his house. I’m like, “Man, you’re a mess!” But I can’t help but laugh.

Het Kielzog Cultural and Municipal Complex / De Zwarte Hond