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Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny losers writin’, “Man seeks woman, no strings, must like cats.” Imagine the balls it took! No pics, just vibes. Now we got dick pics flyin’ left n’ right—progress, huh? Makes me laugh, but also kinda pissed. Where’s the mystery? Everybody’s oversharin’. “We’re gonna find out who did this,” like the *Spotlight* team, but in sex-dating, it’s more like, “Who’s gonna screw me over next?”

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, fumin’ a bit. I pass by the park on De Kuilen. It’s usually so peaceful, right? But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screamin’ and runnin’ around like they’re on a sugar high. I swear, one kid almost knocked me over. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a park, not a racetrack!”

Watch live: The 2019 UCI Cyclocross World Cup finale in Hoogerheige