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But ugh, the fakes—catfish everywhere. Pics from 2010, filters thick as my skull. Pissed me off once—dude showed up, 20 years older. Nearly fed him to the dogs, Hannibal Lecter (fictional) – “I ate his liver with fava beans.” vibe. Still, when it works? Magic. Hot nights, no bullshit. Just don’t catch feels—learned that the hard way. “What’s your sin?” Simin asked. Mine’s believin’ they’ll text back. Spoiler: they don’t.

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But then, I’m like, “Whatever, I’ll make it work.” So, I’m cutting glass, and it’s going smooth. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. Then, outta nowhere, I drop a piece. It shatters everywhere! Glass confetti, yay! I’m on my hands and knees, picking up shards, and I’m thinkin’, “This is why I can’t have nice things.”

Figure 5. Hoensbroek Castle (From Historisch Goud)