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About Amsterdam

Me fave movie, *Inherent Vice*, fits perfect here. Doc Sportello’d get it—stumblin’ through a haze, chasin’ tail, dodgy vibes everywhere. “She’s gone, man,” he’d say ‘bout some ghosted date. Sex-dating’s like that—half the time ya don’t even know who yer bangin’. Met this chick once, total Sortilège vibes—mystic, hot, batshit crazy. Thought she’d read my palms, ended up ridin’ me in a carpark. Next day? Poof! Gone like Shasta Fay. Pissed me off, precious, but damn, what a ride!

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I hit up my fave spot, Café de Buren, on the Gijsbrecht van Amstelstraat. The barista knows my order by heart. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cappuccino? But today, they were out of oat milk. Like, seriously? I almost lost it. I mean, how can you call yourself a café without oat milk? I settled for regular milk, but it just wasn’t the same. Ugh.

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