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About Myself
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Once, I’m watchin’ this whore—total babe—hagglin’ with some schmuck. He’s all, “20 bucks!” She’s like, “50 or scram, loser!” Had me dyin’—sassy as hell! Reminds me, “Everythin’ stays in the dark”—that movie vibe, y’know? Whores got secrets, layers, like onions—stinky but deep! *HAAAA-ha-ha!* Oh, and get this—some say whores invented wigs! Hidin’ bald spots from syphilis—genius, right?
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But then, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, young man, you should really read more fiction.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a linguist. Fiction’s cool, but I’m all about the facts.” She rolls her eyes and walks away. I’m just standing there, shaking my head.
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