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Oh, and the oils—smell like Asgard’s gardens, but sticky as Hel. Pro tip: don’t wear yer best cape, ruins the vibe. There’s this one time, right, heard a yarn bout a king—dunno, some old git—paid in gold for a rubdown that lasted *three days*. Three! Mate, I’d be bored stiff—or not stiff, heh, geddit? Total madlad, that one.

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It's a dogs life. Pampered pooches put their paws up to receive some much needed massage. The doggy treat with a difference aims to help man's.

Then I head over to the park, the Helpman Park, you know? It’s got this cute little pond. I sit on a bench, watching ducks do their thing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right in the pond! The ducks freak out, and I’m cracking up.

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