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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

Possible escort services in Hellevoetsluis

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Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my boss is like, “We need to talk about the crop rotation.” Ugh, not this again. I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it feels like I’m stuck in a loop. Crop rotation, soil health, blah blah blah. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a message from my buddy, saying there’s a pop-up market at the Hellevoetsluis marina.

Diemen Man Arrested For Murder Of Hellevoetsluis Woman