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About Utrecht

Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ Krabby Patties. Nope! It’s sneaky, it’s wild! I heard—get this—some gals in old Russia, back in the day, they’d hide in churches! Crazy, right? “Thou shalt not judge,” but they’re judgin’ HARD! Made me giggle, ‘cause I’m all “Who’s pure ‘round here?!” Me? I’d be peekin’ through me square pants, all nervous-like.

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So, I roll into Heer, right? First stop, the Markt. It’s buzzing, like always. I’m just tryna grab some coffee at that cute little café, you know, the one on the corner of the Kerkstraat? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, a cappuccino, extra foam, because who doesn’t love a lil’ foam, am I right? But the barista? Total grump. Like, dude, it’s just coffee. Chill.

MP Alfred Heer at the International Summit for a Future Beyond UNRWA