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So, escort – it’s wild, right? I mean, it’s old as dirt – back in ancient Rome, they had these fancy ladies called *hetaerae*, not just hookers, but smart, classy gals who’d school dudes in poetry n’ shit. Blew my mind when I read that! Like, imagine some chick in a toga droppin’ philosophy bombs while cashin’ in – badass! Makes me happy thinkin’ how they flipped the game.

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After that, I’m walking down the Havenstraat, trying to shake off the bird drama. The harbor’s beautiful, boats bobbing, and I’m feeling good again. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at their phones like they’re trying to decode hieroglyphics. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! Just look up!” So, I go over, and they’re trying to find the Dolfinarium. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just down the road!” But they’re all, “We thought it was a myth.” A myth? Really? It’s a whole aquarium with dolphins!

Europe’s Largest Marine Park Isn’t Doing Much To Help Its Orcas