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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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Finally, we wrap up the tour. I’m exhausted but happy. I mean, I survived the day, right? As I’m saying goodbye, Mr. Loudmouth comes up to me. “Hey, man, thanks for the tour. You’re a real trooper.” I’m like, “Thanks, I guess?”

Groenewoud, Furlan narrowly miss national record in 3000m steeplechase at world university games