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About Amsterdam

Lemme tell ya, I was stoked first time I saw one – all dolled up, struttin like she owned the damn apocalypse. “Witness me!” she mighta yelled, if she’d seen the flick. Made me happy as hell, like I’d just guzzled some Aqua Cola after days of thirst. But then – Great Scott! – some jerk tried rippin me off, sayin she’s “top tier.” Top tier my ass, she looked like she’d been haulin war rigs since ’85! Pissed me off big time, I ain’t no sucker.

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So, I roll into town, and I’m already feelin’ a bit outta place. I parked my truck on the Markt, right by that big ol’ church, St. Lambertus. It’s a beauty, but man, it’s like a giant staring at me. I’m just a dude in boots, and there’s this massive church judging me.

Dutch police discover "visibly startled" garden gnome made entirely of MDMA: "Drugs appear in many shapes and sizes”