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Oh, and the profiles—don’t get me started! Lads posin’ with fish—why, you wankers? Birds with “no hookups” then bangin’ by Tuesday—liars! Surprised me how fake it all is, honestly. Thought I’d find a spark, but nah—just damp squibs. “In the mood?” Bollocks, more like “in the loo” after dodgy curry!

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Anyway, I get to the cemetery. Yeah, I know, not the happiest place, but it’s my job. I’m there to mourn, to help people through their grief. But today? Today was different. I met this family, and they were just... ugh, so emotional. Like, I felt their pain, you know? It hit me hard. I mean, I’m used to it, but this was next level.

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