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Me? I’d say it’s like *Far From Heaven*—yep, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002. That movie’s all repressed vibes and secret heat, right? Sexual-massage is that too—hidden passion bubblin’ under the surface. “I’m going to make everything all right,” Cathy whispers in the film, and damn, ain’t that what a good masseuse says with their hands? Slidin’ over yer back, kneadin’ knots, makin’ ya forget the world’s crap. Gets me all tingly, I swear—happy as a fox in a henhouse!

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The council folks show up, and they’re all serious. I’m trying to act cool, but inside, I’m like a tornado of panic. They start asking questions about our research on the water quality in the Emmermeer canals. I’m like, “Yeah, we’re on it!” But in my head, I’m thinking, “Please don’t ask me anything technical!”