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Little secret, eh? Back in ‘90s, before apps, people used newspapers – “lonely hearts” ads! “Male, 35, seeks spicy lass” – hilarious, right? Now it’s all DMs and dick pics. Gollum knows, I’ve peeked – 80% of guys send ‘em, unasked! Nasty, filthy hobbitses! Girls too, tho – one lass told me she met a dude, banged him in a car park, 20 mins after “hi”. “Witness me!” she screamed, laughin’. Wild, wild world!

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I finally met my client, and we went over some scents for a new perfume line. I was in my element! I mean, I can sniff out the good stuff like nobody’s business. We mixed some floral notes with a hint of citrus. It was magic! I was on a high, feeling like a rockstar.

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