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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’m here to dish on escort, yeah, that funky lil’ plant. Not escort like some shady side gig, nah, I mean *esparto* grass, Stipa tenacissima for you nerds. Agronomy’s my jam, and this prickly beast’s got me all riled up and jazzed. Grows in Spain, North Africa, dry as hell, looks like a bad haircut on a hill. “I aimed to kill you,” it whispers to water, sucking dirt dry like a greedy outlaw. Tough as nails, this stuff – no wonder it’s been around forever.

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But then, I see a group of teenagers skateboarding on the path. I’m like, “Dude, this is a park, not a skatepark!” I’m getting all grumpy again. But then, one of them does this sick trick, and I can’t help but cheer. I’m such a softie.

Groningen’s Winsum is voted the Netherlands’ prettiest village