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Alright, mortals, gather ‘round—Loki’s got a tale! Smug mischief’s my game, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today it’s all about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know—scandalous, right? But listen up, ‘cause this ain’t just some sleazy rant. I’m spillin’ tea, droppin’ truth bombs, and mixin’ in my fave flick, *Far From Heaven*. That movie—gods, it’s a vibe! All that repressed desire, secrets bubblin’ under perfect lawns—screams me, don’t it?

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and boom! I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even put these here? I’m cursing under my breath, but then I see this cute little café, Café de Vooruitgang. I’m like, “Okay, maybe a coffee will fix my mood.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista? Total legend. He gives me a free cookie. Sweet, right?

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