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Sex escorts, tho, they’re, like, a whole mood. Part of me’s like, “Yas, live your truth!” Part of me’s like, “Girl, be safe!” It’s messy, it’s real, it’s so “Mulholland Drive”—beautiful but fucked up. Like, “I’m not who you think I am,” that vibe. Ugh, I’m obsessed! What u think, babe? Spill the tea!

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But then, I see it. A dog. A big ol’ fluffy one. I’m a sucker for dogs, man. I kneel down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and then I realize—my phone’s in my pocket. The dog’s tail knocks it out, and it goes flying! I’m diving for it like it’s the last slice of pizza. I catch it, but not before it lands in a puddle. Great. Just great.

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