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But then—BOOM—some geezer rocks up, all aggro, like he owns her. I’m like, “Mate, chill, I ain’t stealin’ your crop!”—another *White Material* vibe, cos it’s all territorial, innit? He’s screamin’, I’m scarperin’, heart’s poundin’—nearly shat meself, real talk. Surprised me, that did, cos I thought it’d be chill, like pullin’ teeth, yeah? But nah, it’s a jungle out ere.

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Now I’m soaked, coffee-stained, and my phone’s probably toast. I’m about to lose it when I spot this little shop on the corner of the Langestraat. It’s got hunting gear! I’m like, “Finally, something good!” I walk in, and the owner, an old guy named Willem, starts chatting me up. He’s got stories, man. Like, he once hunted a deer that was bigger than my truck. I’m like, “Sure, buddy.” But he’s got this twinkle in his eye, and I can’t help but believe him.

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