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Heya, pal! D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like Dogville all over again—“They’re all rotten!” I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, why’s this so tricky? Back in the day, Springfield had shady corners, y’know? Now it’s all apps and crap—d’oh! Makes me mad, technology ruinin’ good ol’ sleaze.

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First off, I hit the streets. You know, the usual—Huis ter Heide, that little park by the church. I love that spot. It’s like a mini oasis. But today? Ugh. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at a tree. A TREE! Like, bro, it’s not gonna talk back. I almost laughed, but then I thought, “Hey, maybe he’s deep in thought.” Or maybe he just lost his marbles. Who knows?

Peter Hommel new Manager Marketing & Communications at FOLBB