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Now, sex escorts—lemme spill some tea. Back in the day, like 18th-century Russia, they had these secret “pleasure houses” for the nobles. Little known fact: Tsar Peter the Great? Dude loved a good party, and word is, he’d sneak in escorts dressed as maids—fooled everyone, ‘cept the ones who *knew*. Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it—imagine the wigs, the powdered faces, and some chick whisperin’ dirty nothings in a corset. History’s wild, man!
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Finally, I get home, and my pigs are waiting. They’re snorting like they missed me or something. I’m like, “You guys wouldn’t believe the day I had!” I tell them all about the tree rescue and the cheese. They don’t care, of course, but I swear they’re listening.
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