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About Nijmegen

Picture this: me, floatin above a sketchy alley. Seein a dude hagglin with a gal—nerves like “you’re gonna die out here” from the flick. She’s probly thinkin, “this guy’s a dud,” but cash is cash. Funniest shit? Some johns get scammed—pay up, get nada! Hella karma, bro. Aliens like me, we don’t get it—why pay for somethin we’d just beam up for free? Ha!

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Sex workers are now renting airbnb spaces to work instead of hotels. I had my guests removed for violating my House Rules smoking, using drugs in my house.

When I get there, it’s a freakin’ circus! Kids running everywhere, dogs barking, and Jan’s in the middle of it all, trying to juggle. I’m like, “What are you doing, man?” He drops a ball, and it rolls right into a fountain. Classic Jan. We both crack up, and I’m just happy to be there, you know?

James L. Doorn | Obituaries