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About Tilburg

“What have you got inside you?”—another *Ida* zinger. Escort’s got no soul, I’ll tell ya that! Basic engine, 1.6-liter, wheezin’ like an old man. Gas mileage? Eh, 30 MPG tops—nothin’ to write home about. But it’s practical, gets ya from A to B, no frills, no bullshit. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, who’d invest in this relic? Collectors, maybe—some nutjob in Nebraska’s probly hoardin’ five of ‘em! Me? I’d rather sink cash into Tesla, but that’s just ol’ Larry dreamin’ big.

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Now I’m embarrassed, but the crowd loves it. They’re cheering, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that!” I’m feeling like a rockstar, even though I just lost an apple.

‘A no thank you to the person who assumed I was the coffee lady’