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But when it works? Holy hell, it’s fireworks! Found this one chick once—total babe, witty too. We clicked, banged, and I was like, “This is endless, infinite,” straight outta the movie! Pure bliss, my dude. Then she dipped—poof!—and I was pissed. Why’s it gotta be so fleeting? Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, ups and downs, no in-between.

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First off, I hit the streets of De-Drait, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off. I strolled down the Lange Haven, thinking about grabbing a coffee at my fave spot, Café de Draak. But guess what? It was closed! Like, what even? I mean, who closes a coffee shop on a Tuesday? Ugh! So, I ended up at this random place on de Zwarteweg. The coffee was decent, but the barista? Total weirdo. He kept talking about his pet iguana. Like, dude, I just want caffeine, not a reptile TED talk.