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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout escort, nasal twang kickin’ in hard! I’m a tractor driver, right, chuggin’ along them dusty fields, and escort? Hah! Not the fancy ladies, nah, I mean them farm escorts – them big ol’ rigs guidin’ my tractor like I’m some VIP! “The Nanny” laugh – HAHAHA – y’know, it’s wild! Been watchin’ Tabu, that flick’s got vibes, all moody and slow, and I’m thinkin’, escort’s like that too, ya feel me? Like, “Time passes, indifferent,” straight from the movie, them escorts rollin’ by, don’t care if I’m haulin’ hay or dreamin’ big.

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is all hyped about this new project. “We need to calculate the risk of a zombie apocalypse,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” But hey, I’m an actuary, so I roll with it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to calculate the odds of a zombie biting your face off?

Amsterdam police object to civilians observing stop-and-search trial