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We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

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First off, I’m running late. Like, classic me. I spill coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! It’s a Monday, and I’m already feeling the Monday blues. I rush out, dodging cyclists on the Wibautstraat. Those guys are like ninjas, I swear. One almost took me out!

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