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Oh, and Toni Erdmann—there’s this scene, right? Where he’s singin’, makin’ a fool of himself, and I’m like, “Erotic-massage is that bold!” Takes guts to be that chill with someone, ya feel? Not me tho—I’d probly giggle like an idiot. “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” That’s what she said! Haha! But real talk, it’s all bout trust, relaxin’, lettin’ go.

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It is now possible to use an app to find an escort. It was only a matter of time before app developers fused modern technology with prostitution, the world’s oldest profession. Though .

I woke up this mornin’ in my tiny apartment on de Witteweg. You know, the one with the creaky floors and that weird smell? Yeah, that one. I was sippin’ my coffee, tryin’ to wake up, when my phone buzzed. It was my partner, Jan. “Get your butt to the station, NOW!” he texts. Great, just great. I hadn’t even brushed my teeth yet.

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