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Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic! I’m bloody Gordon Ramsay, yeah? Seen some shit in kitchens, but this? This is next level madness! “Certified Copy” – my fave flick – Abbas Kiarostami, 2010, pure genius. That line, “It’s not the original, it’s a copy!” – hits hard when you’re scoping prossies. Are they real? Fake? Who gives a toss, mate!

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So, I’m tryin’ to ignore them, right? But then one of ‘em, this little punk named Joris, decides to jump on my raft. I’m like, “Dude, what are you doin’? This ain’t a playground!” But he just laughs and starts rockin’ the boat. I was ready to toss him in the water! But then, he looks up at me with those big ol’ eyes, and I just couldn’t. I mean, how do you say no to that?

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